We recently bought a new mattress and it came with instructions to rotate it every 30 days for the first year to avoid developing indentations from your body weight. In the process of doing it this morning, I had to move our under the bed restraint system.
“What was that?” you say.
You heard right.
“Ah, you must be one of those crazy couples. Black leather body suits, studded dog collars and a collection of BDSM porn that fills a large bookshelf.”
Nope. We are a very ordinary couple; mid 30’s, married 13 years with three kids. I teach a Sunday School class. My wife is a stay at home mom. We are about as normal as you will ever find.
And that my friends, is the point. Wanting to be tied down does not make you strange. You aren’t a deviant because you enjoy the power of seeing your wife lying helpless and at your mercy. If you’ve ever ventured down this road, you know what I’m talking about. If you haven’t, I want to offer a few reasons why you need to incorporate this in your relationship.
First, an obvious caveat; if your wife has unresolved issues with prior abuse, this isn’t going to work for you. Exceptions exists, but this is an activity for emotionally healthy individuals. Now, here’s why you want a restraint system:
- 1. Women Are Attracted to Aggressive Men
- According to this study, women are more attracted, at least sexually, for the short term, to more aggressive males.Gentleman, let me speak to you for a moment. Obviously, we all want our wives to enjoy sex. That means you have to give her what she wants. Society is telling you that she wants hearts and flowers and a tender touch. There is a place for that; it’s at the dinner table. But once you reach the bedroom, she wants a different kind of man. How did I learn this? The hard way.
Wife: “Okay, until further notice, enough with the romantic bullshit. When we have sex, I need you to fuck me hard.”
- 2. Submission Builds Trust
- When you are strapped down, naked and immobile, you are completely vulnerable. This can be a terrifying place to be. The amount of trust required to put yourself in this position is enormous.If your wife is willing to go there, congratulations; she has a great amount of faith in you. And this builds on itself. Each time she submits to you, it is a demonstration of her trust. Each successful encounter builds greater trust. More trust means more willingness and so the cycle builds. It’s a lot like exercising. Exercise builds muscle, more muscle leads to increased exercise which leads to more muscle… you get the picture.
- 3. Enjoy the Power
- This was hard for me. I’m naturally a nice guy, so my tendency has always been to try to please. I always tried to make sure I did everything I thought my wife wanted to make sex pleasurable. It was never only about me; that would be selfish. And only jerks are selfish.But what do you do when your wife desires to be used like a piece of meat? When I realized that what she wanted most was for me to be selfish, my head nearly exploded. Standing over your wife while she lays helpless below you, knowing that she is completely satisfied to be in this position, will pull that primal “yawp” right out of you.
- 4. (Bonus) It Will Impress Your Friends
- Not that you talk about that kind of thing. Just kidding, women talk about that stuff all the time. The other soccer moms will be looking at you with renewed respect once they know that you have the stones to tie up your woman and have your way with her. They may even try convincing their husbands to ask you what you use and where they can buy one too.