So you want to try anal sex. A taboo that in recent times has become less so. An act that has always been there and yet something we don’t engage in on a regular basis so it still maintains that element of naughty.
And given that it is still naughty and secret, there are a few things beginners should be aware of before trying it blind and having an experience that halts further investigation into what can be a highly pleasurable act for fun loving couples.
- Relax your mind and body! If this is your first time trying anal sex, spend a few minutes relaxing your mind and your entire body. You can also relax your anal muscles. To see what that feels like you can tighten them by squeezing your butt muscles and holding for a few minutes, and then releasing.
- Use lots of lubrication! Unlike the vagina, the anus does not produce its own lubricant. The more lube you use, the more comfortable and enjoyable anal sex can be. Don’t forget to make sure you are using a water-based lubricant. Before going right to anal sex you may want to begin by using a finger to become comfortable with anal play.
- Communicate! As with all type of sexual activity, verbal communication is a must! Talk to your partner about your fears or desires for anal sex. Continue to communicate when first trying anal sex by letting your partner know if it hurts or if you would like him to move more slowly or more quickly. It is important that you feel comfortable so don’t be afraid to communicate!
- Women – stay in control! Especially the first time you are trying anal penetration, it is good to be in control of your man’s penis so that you can guide it at a pace and pressure that you are comfortable with. Take your time in getting it in. This is also good because the lining of the anus is very sensitive, so pay attention to your body and stop if it is too painful. Some good beginning positions for when trying anal sex are doggie style and laying on your side with your partner behind you on his side.
- Practice A hard cock should never be the first thing you stick up your butt and should never go up your butt the first day you experiment with anal play. Start with fingers. The next time, toys. Then when you are both ready, try anal intercourse. For best results, you should do some of this practice yourself and get to know your own butt.
- Be safe! To minimize the risk of infection, guys should be sure to clean their genitals after engaging in anal sex. In addition, do not go from the anus to the vagina as this can lead to infection or complications. Also, use a condom! If you are engaging in anal sex, discard that condom and put on a new one before penetrating the vagina to minimize the risk of infection.
A tip: There are many shared nerve endings between the walls of the vagina and the anus, so (if you have one) stimulating the vagina simultaneously can be extremely pleasurable. If you feel comfortable, insert something (perhaps a finger or a vibrator) into your vagina while you are engaging in anal play.
Don’t feel pressure to engage in anal play! And remember that if you try it and don’t like it, you don’t have to do it again. Also, guys and girls should both note that if you want to have a successful anal encounter, you should stop as soon as sensation goes from “this feels weird” to pain and try again another day.
If you are a guy looking to try anal sex but your partner doesn’t have a penis, you can still try pegging.
Some people choose not to try anal sex and some just don’t enjoy anal stimulation once they have tried it – both are OK! It’s also ok to enjoy it or even wonder about it, whether you are a guy or a girl. Everyone has different likes and dislikes. Love it or hate it, you can guarantee you are not alone in your anal sex preferences.